Monday, April 27, 2015

I am sorry

I will share further reflections on Thursday's post on indifference. I am apologizing for being judgmental and for possessing a sense of entitlement.  While I feel that indifference is still a malady in this world I may have been too hasty in directing it to my own situation----that is where being judgmental and feeling entitled come to play and as a rule I try not to be either, they don't sit well with me. In an effort to find justification for those who have not been there for me like I would have hoped I generalized their absence with indifference without ever knowing the real reason. That was so wrong of me.

 My return to good health is a slow process, I spent most of the night wondering if I was having a heart attack and truly not knowing how to handle it. Especially since I never felt the first one, what I was experiencing then and last night was similar to a panic attack that I have been experiencing for years. I also had a rough time yesterday with regulating my body temperature. I do go to the doctors again tomorrow so I guess we will see what transgresses then.  He is a new doctor to me, so I am already anticipating some anxiety over the visit. 

The weekend was very quiet, we were going to the ocean yesterday but I just wasn't up to it, so I sat outside and knitted and that is where I seemed to pick up the chill.  Tom bought more plants for his garden and spent some time out there with that. We of course watched golf in the afternoon.

  We made tentative  plans with Debb Chad and Columbia on Saturday night to go to Alabama for Columbia's high school graduation on the 29th of May.  I need to get to be 100 % well so we can make it this time.

 This coming weekend we are looking forward to a visit with our newest Toddler--Miss Maisie, who is now walking.  Way to go baby girl!!!KNIT ON! 

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