Indifference

this post is not directed to any individual, I am blessed with a loving caring family and friends but it just a general sense of  abandonment that I am dealing with, who knows it may even be a part of my recovery. 


It isn't exactly selfishness but I really don't know what it is called.   I have observed may people and for the most part the way they have been raised, the Golden Rule and all, respect your elders, speak truths, lies come back to haunt you, if you have nothing good to say don't say anything at all, etc.  I am talking about all age groups here,  older adults (older then me), people my age, our children, their children etc. At what age does the forget how I was raised--- this is my life and I will do what I want attitude kick in? It seems that it is different in every situation but it seems to happen to almost everyone.  The lack of respect for others in this world is snowballing exponentially and it breaks my heart.  I realize people want to do what makes them happy, what gives their life purpose and meaning but why does it have to mean distancing yourselves from others in your life.  People that love you and miss you and who suddenly find their lives empty and bereft, My illness was a learning experience in human nature.  In the hospital people seemed to care, the doctors, the nurses, the aides, the pulmonary techs, the physical therapy techs, even the cleaning ladies were known to rub a shoulder and say a prayer for your return to health.  When I got home the visiting nurses were the highlight of my life, but alas the hospital dismissed me so I must be better, the phone does not ring, the inquiries into my health have stopped and I am left feeling lonely and depressed, self absorbed and anxious.I have even been asked not to talk about my ordeal any more because it upsets them!! Sad but true. Now that I am no longer being cared for by strangers I have become a burden. Its like Cat Stevens "there are bills to pay and planes to catch---we'll get together then, you know we will have a good time then"  but then never comes.
 Sorry for the sad post today, I am just alone and depressed about it. KNIT ON!PS> Ria the reason their is no picture of Changeling is that it is lace and needs blocking before you can see anything in it at all, I did finish it yesterday and hope I can persuade Tom to block it soon, he is working Saturday so maybe Sunday. Today I will move on to charity hats, its time!